


In a Bind

by IlIcythings



Series: Trans!Alec [1]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: (it's Alec), Chest Binding, Closeted Character, Ellie Miller is a good friend, Gen, Post-Season/Series 03, Trans Male Character, descriptions of health issues, not too much detail but take care, please bind safely, unsafe binding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27161503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IlIcythings/pseuds/IlIcythings
Summary: Alec stays at the station all night, without realising it, on a case. The only problem in the morning is his binder giving him issues.
Relationships: Alec Hardy & Ellie Miller
Series: Trans!Alec [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1992193
Comments: 9
Kudos: 31





	In a Bind

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine, and mine alone :D Please point out any grievous mistakes so I can fix them up!!
> 
> Written by a trans male, but experiences can differ from person to person (this sounds like an ad lol)

DI Alec Hardy started a little when the alarm on his phone sounded. He quickly turned it off and got back to poring over evidence because it could wait a few minutes. He had stayed overtime, trying to solve this case as quickly as possible.

They had found traces of a certain product at the crime scene, and SOCO had summarised the various places that it could have come from in a lengthy report. He was rereading a paragraph for the fifth time, words swimming in his head but lacking any sense, when someone knocked on the door. _Bloody hell_ , he thought, _who else is here at this hour?_

He half-heartedly attempted to straighten out the paperwork covering his desk before shouting, “Come in!”

“Morning Hardy,” Ellie opened the door, “you’re up bright and early. I thought you’d like some tea.”

 _Morning. Right, okay._ “Thanks, Miller.” He tried desperately to think of something to say. After a slightly too long delay, he settled on, “How’re the kids?”

Miller didn’t seem to notice. “Oh, they’re alright. Fred’s starting school soon, save me the trouble of finding a childminder to look after him. Tom’s scrambling to finish off his holiday homework, the poor bugger. How’s Daisy?”

“She’s fine. Starting university soon.” He paused. “Enough talk now, Miller, back to work.”

“Yes sir.”

 _Is there something I’ve forgotten? Ack, I don’t have time for this_. He looked down at the report and reread the paragraph for the sixth time.

Miller walked over to the new constable to welcome them to the station.

“Hello! PC Ashley Collins?” The constable nodded.

“Welcome to Broadchurch CID. I’m DS Ellie Miller, call me Ellie, and the DI is Alec Hardy. He can be a right arse at times, but I’m the only one who’s allowed to say that to his face.”

This drew a nervous smile out of the recruit.

“We’ll start right here, shall we? This is the main room. That empty desk over there has your name on it – well, it will once we print out the placard. If you need any stationary, like pens, staplers, rulers, we’ve got some downstairs in storage.”

She turned to left. “The kitchen’s through there, help yourself to tea and biscuits. The good biscuits are always here on a Monday, so you have something to look forward to.”

She pointed at Alec’s office, after turning. “That’s the DI’s office, I don’t recommend bothering him unless you really have to, especially in the morning. He can be a bit grumpy, but Hardy’s a good detective and a good leader”

“We’ve got briefing in here at half nine, so feel free to familiarise yourself with the place until then. If you have any questions at all, you can normally find me at my desk. Have a nice day!”

The recruit nodded, attempting to sneak a glance towards the kitchen without her noticing.

 _Right, that’s done. Back to reading reports_.

She thought back to the odd conversation in Hardy’s office. _Hardy’s got on the same suit as yesterday, and his eyes shifted when I mentioned it was the morning._ She looked at the time. _It’ll have to wait until after briefing_.

Having finally understood what the paragraph was trying to convey about the samples found at the scene, Hardy stood up to brief the other detectives of today’s work. His vision blacked out. This hadn’t happened since his heart surgery. The reason hit him as he stretched a little. _Shite. My binder._ It had been on for nearly 24 hours at this point because he had ignored his dedicated alarm. Shortness of breath and pain was the result, almost a punishment for his stupidity.

Briefing required standing in front of the officers and walking around to point to various notes on the evidence boards. He wouldn’t be able to do that while gasping for breath, he’d have to lean against a wall for the entirety of the briefing. _I’m in a room full of detectives, someone would notice._ Wincing at the memory of a promise made after a couple of beers, he decided that Miller would have to cover for him.

He slowly and deliberately moved into the main room and found Miller’s desk.

“You’re doing briefing this morning.”

“What?! You promised that you’d give me at least half an hour’s notice!”

“Well, I crossed my fingers. Go. You’ll be fine”

Alec moved to the back of the CID, knowing that he was going to get a bollocking for this. _Better than passing out in front of the other officers. Again._

He needed to take off his binder, but he couldn’t disappear now without arousing suspicion. It would have to wait until after the briefing.

The clock struck half-past nine as PC Ashely Collins walked into the room. Unwilling to seem like an overeager student, they didn’t stand right at the front of the group of officers, but instead they decided to move towards one of the sides of the room. Ashley was expecting the DI to get up and do the briefing, but he was standing at the very back of the room, making no indication of moving. Instead, DS Miller – no, Ellie – walked to the front of the room.

“Morning everyone,” she began, her tone clipped, “we’ve got a lot of work to do today. We’ve got to do witness statements and door to door, we need some people to analyse what SOCO have produced and someone needs to work out the motive behind these burglaries.”

 _Ellie was much sunnier when I talked to her,_ Ashley noted, _now she looks pissed._

“I’d like to have all the PCs and DCs on collecting details as to where people were, what they saw and who they were on the night.”

Ellie walked over to the evidence board on the right.

“I’d like the DS’ to work on tracking down who could have bought these materials, and when, so we can whittle down our suspect list from the whole town to a few people.”

Ellie sent a terrifying glare towards the back of the room before resuming, “DI Hardy and I will work on determining a motive for the burglaries based on the items reported stolen.”

The DI seemed outwardly impervious to the glare, but he was still listening intently.

Looking to the left evidence board she continued. “The items don’t seem to be of much monetary worth, so it’s likely that the perp is local to the area and knows the people they are stealing from.”

“Remember to come and ask for more work to do if you’ve gotten through what you’ve been assigned, we need everyone on deck to solve this. All right, let’s get going.”

Ashley caught Miller striding over to the DI’s office with a murderous look on her face before they walked out of the station. _I wonder what Hardy’s done to make her so mad._

Alec walked into his office.

“What the hell, Hardy? I know you can be a right arse sometimes, but this is beyond your normal Shitface behaviour. And before you say anything, I know you stayed here in the station overnight, your suit is exactly the same as yesterday’s, including the tea stain you complained so much about.”

“Sorry, Miller.” He tried to keep his face neutral while he thought of what to say next. _What else could I say without making it sound like a stupid excuse?_ ‘You could just mention the binder’, his inner voice whispered, but he knew he couldn’t do that without outing himself. _I’d rather be an arse than come out at work_.

“Hardy. I can tell you’re genuinely sorry–”

His face was apparently not as neutral as he thought it was. “Mill–”

“Yes, I can tell, you wanker, so there’s something you’re not telling me.”

Alec often saw Ellie drilling into suspects in the interrogation rooms and she made for a terrifying figure. She had become warier after finding out that Joe had killed Danny, but she still managed to be friendly when necessary. It was the striking contrast between the happy and humorous Ellie and the direct demeanour that DS Miller employed that made her such a good detective. Alec had never felt the full force of Miller’s questioning gaze, and he wasn’t ashamed to say that it was fearsome.

“Don’t be ridiculous Miller!” He stepped away from the wall to sit down and instantly regretted it.

Ellie might have left Alec alone after that conversation if it weren’t for him collapsing.

She grabbed him and laid him down on the floor before he could hit the ground too hard. “You’re still too bloody light,” she said, half to herself and half to check if Alec could hear her.

“Sir, can you hear me?”. He didn’t make any indication of it. She moved her fingers to his neck, trying to determine if his pulse had changed due to his heart giving out. The steady rhythm of his blood pounding reassured her.

“Alec, can you hear me?”

“I’m not deaf Miller. Why’d you use my name?”

“You didn’t hear me the first few times, knob. I thought you’d come back from the dead to complain about me using your name.”

He glared at her as he sat up. “Please tell me you didn’t call an ambulance.”

“I didn’t.”

“Oh, thank god.” He stood briefly to get into his chair.

Ellie paused. “Did you think you were going to pass out?”

“Yes, Miller,” he rubbed at his eyes a little, “that’s why I told you to do briefing today.”

She cast her mind back. “You were leaning on the wall during briefing, weren’t you? I should have noticed.”

“Nonsense, Miller. I was trying to hide it.”

“Don’t hide shit about your health from me, Hardy. If you’ve taken a turn for the worse then you should tell the Chief Super”

“It’s got nothing to do with my health, Miller,” he almost snapped back, “it’s just something stupid I did.” He paused and seemed to calm down a little. “Would you mind laying off the personal questions now, Miller?”

She was about to make another remark but stopped as she realised the tone Alec was using. It was the same tone that he used when answering questions about his divorce. This was deeply personal.

“Alright, Hardy, but only if you tell me if you’re going to pass out in future. I won’t panic and call an ambulance if you give me some warning.”

“Fine.”

Miller turned towards the door and opened it.

There was a quiet “Thanks, Miller.”

“Look after yourself, sir.”

Alec waited until his vision was no longer filled dots and slowly stood. While he hated being at work without his binder on, he’d have to take it off before it caused any more issues. He walked to the bathroom, hoping no one would bother him. He slid the binder off and almost sighed with relief. He had forgotten what taking a full, deep breath felt like. He quickly slipped on the sports bra he kept for these occasions, put his suit back on and returned to work.

Coming out was not an experience that Alec wanted to repeat, let alone at work. Coming out to his family didn’t go horribly, but it also didn’t go well. Many family members refused to speak to him afterwards. Coming out at work didn’t seem much better, as a few officers believed that transgender individuals simply didn’t exist. At Sandbrook he had been assigned with one such sergeant for a week, only because it took Alec that long to find multiple instances of misconduct that sufficed as grounds to report them.

Of course, the medical examination that Alec was required to have bared his entire medical history to many of his superiors, but that was not spoken of as it had no impact on his ability to do his job. _Except for days like these, I suppose_. Most importantly to Alec, no junior officers were ever informed of the fact.

Trying to ensure that the other officers remained oblivious, Alec walked back to his desk as quickly as he dared. _Someone’s going to notice_ , he thought, _Miller is extremely observant. She’ll notice my chest straight away._ He sat down at his desk, sure that someone would notice.

He eventually got lost in the reports and paperwork that he’d stayed up all night reading.

Miller came around to his office at the end of the shift.

“Come on, Hardy, you have to go home”

He didn’t put up a fight. “Yes, Miller.”

He packed his things, ensuring the binder was not going to be seen by Ellie, and followed her out of the station.

**Author's Note:**

> So,,,, I couldn't think of anything for my other fic, so I made this :D
> 
> I am heavily projecting on Alec here, and I've experienced the 'oh, wait, my binder' thing before, but mine's a size up so it didn't hurt too much (still not very good).
> 
> I kinda want to add Alec coming out to Ellie as a second part, but my brain can't quite work out how that'd go, so that as a purely hypothetical thing.
> 
> (Part two is now a thing xx)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Beneath the Surface](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27396490) by [Morningstar (hismorningstar)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hismorningstar/pseuds/Morningstar)




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